When life bogs you down

For many, the very idea of becoming overwhelmed with life is, well…overwhelming. Running here and there, saying yes to everything everyone asks you to do, making promise on top of promise that even you aren’t sure you can keep is exhausting. It’s enough to drive even the sanest person nuts.

All these little things begin piling up, until a mountain sits before you, waiting to be climbed. You stand before that mountain scared and mentally weary, and you don’t know what to do. So instead of dropping some of the baggage pulling you down, you keep piling on more, until you’ve slowed to a crawl and can barely move.

How to stop it

The first thing you have to do when you reach that looming mountain is stop. Drop your luggage. Breathe. Recognize that you can’t do this alone. Everyone needs help at some point. If this is the point where you need help, then by all means ask for it. Don’t suffer another step alone.

Another thing to pause here and take note of is that often times, those who find themselves in this predicament are repeating similar patterns created by their own parents. Was your father a workaholic? Did your mother obsess over a spotless home? More often than not, these compulsive preoccupations bleed over from one generation to the next. If you watched your mother take on more than she could handle, chances are you will try to do the same thing.

Follow the escape route

It won’t be easy, but you have to map an escape route. Figure out how to cope with your heavy load without it driving you into the ground. Asking for help is the simplest, and yet most underutilized way to lighten your load. Here are some more tips that might help you:

• Create a “helper’s list” that includes jobs for everyone to share in your household.
• Hire a teenager to help you out for a few weeks.
• Get a babysitter and leave town for 2-3 days.
• Use a yearly calendar to plan ahead.
• Start a car pool for kid activities.
• Take 30 minutes each day, just for you.

When you begin to feel stressed, you should immediately put into practice some stress relief techniques to thwart off any other oncoming symptoms. These are some very easy and practical ways you can start using to help yourself relax.

• Close your eyes, draw a deep, cleansing breath in, hold for 5-7 seconds, then slowly exhale. Repeat this ten to twelve times, or as needed.
• Stretch. Stress can cause tense and knotted muscles throughout your body. When you’re feeling tense and anxious, stand up and do a few quick stretches. Simple stretches can help loosen tense muscles super fast and reduce the amount of tension you’re feeling.
• Meditate for 20-30 minutes each morning and evening. Meditation is helpful in calming your mind, which in turn, calms your body. Simple meditation, like getting quiet and focusing your mind on a central thought, can help you find peace and regain your composure.
• Read a joke book. Science has proven that laughter is a healing agent. Grab a funny book or watch your favorite comedy and enjoy a few laughs. This can do more good than you might think!
• Go for a walk with someone you love. Grab your partner and head outdoors for a late evening walk together. Enjoy the sunset as you stroll quietly together. Rather than talking about your day at work, or problems at home, focus on your relationship and love for each other.

Buy yourself some flowers. Flowers brighten anyone’s day. Why wait for someone else to give you flowers? Buy yourself a bright, pretty bouquet and place it on your desk or somewhere nearby. A simple, inexpensive bouquet of flowers can do wonders to brighten your mood.

Head to the gym. One of the first things that goes when we neglect ourselves is our body. Buy yourself a gym membership, then visit regularly. A few trips to the gym every week is not only good for your body, but you’ll be able to work out all your frustrations, as well.

Drink more water. It’s a fact that most people don’t hydrate enough. Buy bottled water to have on hand. It will be much easier to say no to another soda if you can grab a bottle of water to go.

Take a Yoga class. Yoga is known for its healing and calming powers. There are often Yoga classes for beginners, which are great to teach you the basics of Yoga. Sign up for one and try it out.

Schedule a spa day. Sometimes you just need to unwind and relax with no worries and nobody around. Call your favorite spa and schedule some “you” time there.

Keep a journal. Journaling is a great place to vent about all your frustrations, too. It’s a safe place, for your thoughts and eyes only, where you can write about everything happening in your life. If you keep a journal only for such a purpose, you can burn it or shred it after all the pages are filled. It’s a healthy, disposable therapy session.

Lay off the junk food. Practice healthier eating habits by ditching the junk. Instead of that mid-day candy bar, pack yourself a healthy snack of nuts, fruits, or raw veggies with dip.

1. Negative people. People with a negative attitude can make you feel stressed just by being around them. Pick and choose your friends and acquaintances more wisely from now on. Stay away from those who seem to stay on a negative kick all the time.
2. Being late all the time. Do you find it difficult to get anywhere on time? The stress of arriving late is not good for you. Allow yourself an extra 20 minutes next time.
3. Extreme work load. If you’re always taking on more and more work, it’s no wonder you are stressed out all the time. First, stop piling more work on top of what you already have. If possible, start delegating tasks to others. The quicker you can eliminate your exhaustive work load, the sooner you’ll eliminate all that stress.
4. Low self-esteem. If you suffer from poor self esteem, you are much more likely to berate yourself and unreasonably expect more from yourself. Work on raising your self-esteem and you’re likely to notice an immediate lightening of your stress level.
5. Unhappy with your life. Do you constantly struggle with the idea that your life is not what you thought it would be? Unhappiness triggers stressful feelings. Find ways to accept your life and everything in it. Discover joy in the little things.
6. Feelings out of control. This trigger is explosive for some people. When you feel like you’re not in control of yourself or surrounding circumstances, you tend to feel a great amount of pressure and stress. Learn how to control your mind.
7. Violent arguments. Volatile relationships are breeding grounds for tremendous stress. If you are in such a relationship and are constantly engaged in fights, do everything you can to get away from that situation.

The purpose of meditation is to help you become more focused and calm. Meditation revitalizes your mind by releasing negative thoughts. It also helps give you clarity about certain situations in your life. If you have been searching for an answer to a problem, meditation can help clear everything up so that you can see clearly and know what you are supposed to do.

Meditation is said to give a greater sense of peace to many, as well. Regular meditation helps put things in their proper perspective. It gives you a greater sense of peace of mind and helps to reduce stress.

There are various methods of meditation, divided by Eastern and Western techniques. The most common form of meditation today is Zen meditation. It is simple and easy. Here is a general overview of how to meditate in this manner:

• Choose a comfortable spot to sit (on the floor, in a firm chair, on top of your bed).
• Sit cross-legged, with your back at a straight angle.
• You can close your eyes or leave them open. Just remember to focus; don’t allow your mind to wander or daydream.
• Rest your tongue on the roof of your mouth.
• Place your left hand on top of your right, palms up, thumbs just touching and rest them in your lap.
• Draw a deep, slow breath in.
• Slowly release your breath in an exhale.
• Repeat this deep-breathing exercise.

Keep your attention focused on your breathing only. Remember, if your mind begins to wander, bring it back into focus on your breath.

For your first few meditation sessions, you may not be able to meditate for longer than five or ten minutes at a time. Meditate for as long as you can, increasing your time over a few weeks. Eventually, you’ll be able to meditate longer. Don’t forget…meditation can and should be done on a daily basis.

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