Never Alone

By Hope Wilbanks

The pressure of suddenly becoming a single parent weighed heavily on me.  After my husband’s deployment to serve our country in war, I was forced to assume the role of both parents and deal with matters that I had never faced alone.

While my faith has always been strong and unbreakable, the roller coaster ride my emotions were on attacked my trust in God.  I began questioning God’s intentions and love for me.

In addition to managing our household on my own, it seemed as though my friends had abandoned me.  The people that I always thought I could rely on for support were the very ones who stopped talking to me.  This only added to my feelings of desperation, loneliness, and neglect.

Day after day I shed tears of pain and hurt.  I only allowed myself this release while in the solitude of my home.  I didn’t want my church family to see my tears and feel sorry for me.  So I hid my pain as best I could, meanwhile growing bitter and angry.

During these sorrowful times, I prayed.  My prayers however had turned pungent.  I lashed out at God like a spoiled child.

“God, I need help!”  I cried one night.  “I can’t take this any more, Lord!  Can You hear me?  Are You even listening to me anymore?”

I was on my last leg.  Not only did my friends turn from me, but it felt as though God had even turned His back on me.  Desperation and hunger for something—anything—pushed me and drove my very being.  I almost gave up.

Then one Sunday night at church, God used a special person to minister to me.  Through her, He told me that He knew my hurt, and He had seen every painful tear I had cried that nobody else knew about.  He promised me that He was going to take all the pain and hurt and turn it into something better, something good.

In that moment, it was as if God Himself had come down from heaven, wrapped His arms around me, and held me close.  I felt the love of God like I hadn’t in a long time.  And I knew in that very moment that I was never alone.

Sometimes it feels like God doesn’t hear us.  Sometimes we feel very alone as we go through trials and tribulations.  But we can rest assured on His promise that He will never leave us.  Even when we feel like we’re flying solo, God is in the pilot’s seat.