Why You Should Forgive
If you have survived a major traumatic life event and are finding it difficult to forgive, you are among millions of people who harbor ill feelings towards others. For some, a grudge takes hold when you focus on the bad thing that happened to you. For others, a grudge takes seed almost silently and unknowingly: you think you’re over it, but then you discover you still haven’t forgive the other person.
Forgiveness seems like such an easy thing to do, but it isn’t. Forgiving someone who has wronged you is a very difficult thing to do. Some people live their entire lives unwilling and unable to forgive someone else.
YOU’RE ONLY HURTING YOU
The only person being hurt by your inability to forgive is you. In fact, in many situations, the other person doesn’t even realize you have these bad feelings towards them. They often may have even forgotten about the incident that lives fresh in your mind every day.
Holding negative feelings against someone and never forgiving them causes you to become negative. This single event leads to a shift in your way of thinking. You might become pessimistic and feel like everyone else is out to get you. You might build a wall so nobody else can get close enough to hurt you again.
FORGIVE TO HEAL YOURSELF
The number one reason you should forgive is so that you can begin to be healed. When you are finally able to release what happened in the past and make amends with that person within yourself, you will be able to finally move forward in your own life. You’ll feel as though a huge burden has been lifted from your shoulders.
Forgiving someone else for something bad that happened isn’t for them. Forgiveness is for you.
4 Steps to Personal Forgiveness
So many people are able to forgive others, but can’t seem to forgive themselves. If you find yourself in this position, why do you find it so hard to forgive yourself? Do you feel unworthy?
If you can forgive others for mistakes they’ve made, then why can’t you forgive yourself? Often times, the reason stems from a deep psychological standpoint. If you’ve done something that you consider to be terrible and you are finding it hard to forgive yourself, there is hope. I want to show you four steps that you can start using today that will help you learn how to forgive yourself.
Step 1: Accept what happened. Do you find it hard to accept the mistake you made? Maybe you’re telling yourself you can’t believe you were so stupid as to make such an awful mistake. You’re not the first to feel this way.
First, you must acknowledge and accept your mistake. Acknowledge it for what it was. You messed up. You made a mistake. But now you can learn from it.
Step 2: Move forward from here. Now that you have acknowledged your mistake, it’s time to move on. How? Stop allowing that mistake to be thrown in your face and played like a guilt card. When you think about it, tell yourself to STOP and immediately change your thought process. Stop dwelling on the past. Live for today.
Step 3: Learn from your mistakes. There is a lesson to be learned in everything. Did you learn from your mistake? If not, then take a few minutes right now to stop and think about it. Why did you make the mistake? What led to it? How could it have been prevented? What can you do NOW to change what happened then?
Step 4: Allow room for future mistakes. Look, nobody’s perfect. We’re all human, all prone to mistakes. To think that you’ll never make another mistake is foolish. You can, however, plan ahead.
You can start by remembering that there is something to be learned in every mistake. If you spoke too harshly and hurt someone’s feelings last month and you can’t seem to forgive yourself for speaking out of turn, I’ll bet you’ll remember that the next time a similar situation arises, before you speak.
Use all your mistakes as stepping stones of learning experiences. Life is a learning process. Grow with it.
Love - Forgiveness Is True Love
Most of the lovers do not forgive their loved ones. They may forgive their sworn enemy, but they may not forgive their lover. Do you agree with me? Why is this so? It should have been exactly reverse. Why, let us discuss.
What is love? What do we understand by loving someone? How is love different than other relationships and emotions? In love, we give our whole mind and heart to our beloved. We try to keep our beloved most comfortable. We take care not to hurt our darling. In love, we care for each other. We are in the mood of giving in love. Giving always gives more pleasure in love than anything else.
If our darling makes a mistake, shall we berate them? Shall we blame them and give them pain? Shall we hold it against them forever? Shall we call them betrayer? If we do all this then it is not love, but a business relationship. I have given you so much now you give your truth, faithfulness and everything else in return.
In love, we have to forgive. We have to pacify our beloved that mistakes are a way of life and everybody does them. We have to tell them not to worry and we are with them. We have to tell them to stop thinking of what happened and think of good things and try to live life joyously. But a majority of us behaves in reverse. That is our failure. It was never love to begin with. If you believe that you love your darling, please learn forgiving.
The author C.D.Mohatta writes articles, advice and ideas at http://www.yourromanceguide.com/ on topics like love, dating, marriage, relationships, break-ups, etc. He also writes for screen-savers and desktop wallpapers at http://www.screene.com/ on topics like nature, spirituality, motivation, love-romance, holidays, animals, etc. The third site, the author writes for, is http://www.ecarduniverse.com/ - it has free ecards on holidays, birthday, love, friendship, family, expressions, celebrations and all events and occasions.
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Is Forgiveness Always Divine?
A child takes birth and brings joy in the life of everyone with his smile. He is always happy himself and at the same time he makes everyone happy. As he grows older he experiences sweet and bitter incidents that encircle his life. The sweet experiences of life remain cherished. But when someone looks back upon the bitter ones, he is frustrated. And he is keen to punish the people responsible for adding bitter experiences in his life. He wants to make their life bitter too. But such grievances do not help others in rectifying themselves. Rather they become more aggressive.
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